Fishing at the Southend drain

When I was a kid I remember going fishing here a fair bit. Mainly with my mum, or my Gran. Gran lived in Southend, and we'd spend a lot of time here in the holidays.

It seemed fitting that I ended up here in the afternoon with my daughters on Mothers Day on a whim. I can't remember who's idea that was, but after the idea had stewed around in my brain, I quickly packed the car and we were down the road.

Such a peaceful place despite the sound of motorbikes buzzing about when we got there.

Summer and Brett are not the most patient of fisher people. Isabel and I are kindred spirits when it comes to fishing. As the rain set in around five o'clock, she and I donned our jackets and hoods and would not budge. The other two sitting in the car reminding us it was raining(like we didn't know that), and Summer could be clearly heard complaining in the back seat.

We had already caught two good mullets, and the fish had gone off the bite but I didn't want to spoil Isabel's determination and perseverance. I know that feeling oh so well, she is just like me when it comes to fishing. We could stand there all day. I guess it shows we have hope, faith and persistence. It's not such a bad thing.

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It's December! #takingstock

I am pretty sure I forgot about Taking Stock last month. I am not sure if I closed my eyes at the wrong time somewhere in August, but the last few months have been a total blur. 


Making:  End of year presents for my tiny Tot gymnasts. I am thinking Reindeer noses. My last gym classes for the year are on December 15th. Our Kindergym class is getting a visit from Santa on the 14th. 

 My sour dough bread making is improving.

Cooking: I am going to attempt a lavender and blueberry 'magic cake' sometime this week. It like a custard cake that magically cooks in wonderful layers. I've never attempted it before, so why not experiment with some cool flavours.

Drinking: A white. I've been drinking a little too much. I was going to write I think, but I know. Going to do my best to cut down some.

Reading: How to's on the internet. How many times has Google taught you to do something? The latest is how to turn a chambray dress (op shop score) from a size 16 to a size 14 and shorten the sleeves. Going to try to attempt it today. Wish me luck.

Wanting: To do some online shopping. I have a new niece to find a present for, and I am lusting after the Classic Countdown CD. We've been watching the Countdown series on a Sunday night on the ABC. Reliving my youth with music!

Looking: Forward to seeing the super moon tonight. I may even take the kids for a drive where we will have a fab vantage point to see it. Maybe take some photos.

Deciding: What to get Brett for Christmas. I have NO IDEA.

Wishing: I had the money for hydrangea plants for an area in my garden. I've talked to a friend of mums and she has said I can get cuttings from her anytime. I will do that, but wish I could have them flowering in my garden NOW :)

Liking: My new garden arbours my hubby has made to replace the rusted ones that have been there in what feels like forever. He has done a good job. Will post them on Instagram today. 

Wondering: What the hell we are doing for Christmas Day. Mum will be working at the old folks home all day. Will catch up with my sister today to nut it out. 

Considering: Stealing the green waste bin from the empty flats next door, to get rid of some garden waste. I filled mine up today!

Buying: My girls some new runners. I was trying to stretch it out for the next two weeks of school. I don't think I am going to get away with it!

Watching: Struggle Street on SBS. I've become hooked on watching other peoples life's struggles.

Hoping: To spend some time fishing this week. God knows what day, I will have to make time. I really felt like going yesterday.

Marvelling: At how amazing my girls are. They shit me most days, but they are truly amazing little people.

Cringing: At how shocking my chin hairs must be looking. Better get some wax strips today!

Needing: To hit the pavement and get some exercise, eat better and lay off the bourbon cans. I could do with losing a few kilos!

Smelling: Our REAL Christmas tree! I cannot remember the last time I had a real tree to decorate. Well the kids decorated it, the smell is nice.

 Wearing: Some warmer clothes this week. Going from heatwaves in the high thirties down to temperatures in the teens sucks. Did you hear that Tassie has had snow?!

Noticing: The snails have eaten my sunflower seedlings! I won't forget the pellets when replanting seeds this time!

Knowing: I need to make a day where I clean this house from top to bottom and declutter on the way. I am reasonably well at being ruthless when it comes to it. It's just the coming to it bit.

Thinking: The strawberry plants have been amazing this year. We are getting lots.

Admiring: All the pretty flowers in the garden right now. I haven't picked a vase for inside for the longest time though. I've been picking fresh herbs for a little vase on my kitchen bench though. Parsley and mint. 

Disliking: How down I can be on myself. I need to remind myself of all the amazing things I do everyday and how much I have achieved so far in my life.

Giggling: Along with my girls, when they warp their faces on Aunty Margi's iPad. They left surprises for her in the way of funny faces when she wasn't home today. I hope she gets a laugh too.

Snacking: Aaaargh. On too much processed food! Besides that, I am not sure why, but a plastic wrapped cheese slices! They are my go to in the fridge lately. Maybe it's my body telling me I need more calcium.

Hearing: The jingle jangle of Christmas bells! Don't you love this time of year? I do.

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And in the door she walks...I'm back!

You may have noticed I didn't show up for Open Slather Monday last week.

I'd spent the prior four days travelling and visiting with my sons family in Macquarie Fields, south of Sydney.

It had been 12 years too long for me, and seven years for Jake, since either of us had seen them.

My son and I travelled five hours in the car, then flew from Avalon, near Melbourne to Sydney airport. After all that I was even stoked to then jump on a train out the southern suburbs. It had been too long since I had stepped foot on a Sydney train. 

The next few days were amazing. A piece of my heart will always be in Mac Fields, with this family. 

There isn't any place on earth that makes me feel so alive, so at home, so free to be...myself. My heart again, became immediately entwined. Leaving hurts so much, like chunks of meat separating from the fibres of my heart, glued with the strongest adhesive that is love, acceptance and an unspoken understanding. 

The trip home was hard, from the goodbyes at departures to the last leg of the road trip home, where I shook my head, my brain telling my heart to STOP IT, a knowing smile on my face.

I had the chance twenty years ago to pack up and go. Something stopped me, and I can't help sometimes to dwell on it. Especially this last week. I have to realise that the past is the past and I can't spend too much there. What ifs are just that. What was will never be again. My son however, is so blessed to know and have them in his life.

I woke on Sunday morning at 5 am. Jake's nan dropped us off at the airport, we flew at 7:45, then drove again, five hours home. I was knackered and emotional. Emotions I kept to myself, because how can I go back to my husband and tell him I had doubts about leaving my sons father those years ago. I was grieving in a way, of what was. I've been weird all week. 

I know it is all for the best now. But last week I didn't have the physical or emotional energy to blog. I gave myself a break. 

It was quite the trip. It's been a long time since my son and I had travelled together, after all we've been through over the last few years. He handled it like a champion. Even with me crying on the plane home, he asked me in the most beautiful way if I was alright. I told him I always get sad leaving his family. Again his strong yet gentle, caring ways shone through as he told me, "It's alright Mum". And at that moment I knew that everything was alright. 

This trip was meant to happen, the timing was perfect, and the way I was feeling was normal. 

Life is all about the learning, sometimes it's lessons are hard, on our minds and our hearts. The most important thing to learn is that life does go on, and we must embrace every day for what it is, a new beginning and to live in the gorgeous moments that every new day brings. It's also about knowing when you need to cut yourself some slack...

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Half yearly round up for 2017

I was excited about this year. It was a new beginning, who knew what it would bring. I do believe that this will be a year I will never forget.

Summer started school at the end of January. I am so proud of her, she's a social butterfly and floats easily amongst her peers. 

I am still in awe watching my third child learn. Five year olds are amazing little beings.

In February, I started my gymnastics coaching journey, enrolling in the Beginner gymnastics coaching course with Gymastics Australia. At the end I was able to coach under supervision.

I followed with the Intermediate coaching course, with Kindergym for 0-5 year olds as my gymsport, which I completed at the end of March, with 20 hours experience at the club, and a two day practical course in Adelaide. This was the first time in about ten years I had been away for the weekend without all my people, being husband and kids. It was liberating, and I didn't miss them one little bit!

Back to the beginning of March, and I lost my Gran. She had been slowly fading away, and with a few snowballing health problems the previous few weeks, she passed away at the age of 87.

She actually died the same day my son Jake, was readmitted into the mental health ward at the Mount Gambier hospital. I had the holiday house to clean that day after and drove around with all the emotions bubbling on the surface. I drove around with Metallica playing full noise for that week, it helped me through the emotions and the motions. I cried a lot! 

We buried my Granny Wanda the following Friday. Jake wasn't there. I stood next to my sisters and my mums cousin Fay. I will never forget it. Her coffin was draped with her crocheted Crows blanket, beanie and scarf, and a fishing rod. She was well known for her fishing on the Southend jetty. Her only living sibling, Nora, was seated in front of us.

I cleaned my sons house while he was in hospital, there was spit on the walls, seemingly tainted with red wine, to try to dull the voices. Dirty surfaces. His belongings were all packed lined up along one wall of the lounge room. The psych said it was common with Schizophrenics to pack, ready to flee, from an imaginary enemy. She had known of them moving around the country, with kids in tow even, in the fear of someone chasing them.

I cannot the imagine the despair and turmoil going through his mind at that time. I wish he had been diagnosed earlier. I am ever so grateful for the police for understanding, and for their help along with the ambos to get him back to the mental health ward in Mount Gambier. This was the turning point in getting him the help and support he really needed. I could have never have done it on my own, and who knows what could have become of him and the further anguish that our family would have been through.

He had previously been admitted for two weeks. Forcably by the police, on request from us, his family, and diagnosed with Schizophrenia. Obviously two weeks wasn't enough, for him not to be in that hospital environment on a new medication. He took his first weeks medication out of hospital in one night, in an attempt to be rid of the voices.

His second admission, was for three weeks. The medication by that time had kicked in and I can see it working now, we have our boy back (even though he is a man). It has been a long road since he was a teenager when all of these behaviours started to reveal themselves. It makes me sad that it has taken this long to have a diagnosis. It makes me sad, and finally happy that he crossed paths with a psychiatrist that saw his psychosis first hand. Jake had become a master at hiding it away.

That it wasn't fobbed off as bad boy behaviour, or drugs and alcohol. Don't get me wrong, there were drugs and alcohol involved. I will never forget the insane back and forth from him that night when I got a phone call from the coppers to come and help to try convince him to get in the ambulance. One minute he was in defiance to go, because it was a waste of time, because they(the doctors) didn't do anything to help, and the next minute crying in desperation because he just wanted the voices to stop, so he could sleep.

He's now doing well and has a fellow from MIND that visits him every week. An appointment with a clinical mental health nurse every fortnight, and regular follow up appointments with a visiting psychiatrist and with the psychiatrist, who, when faced with a 24 year old who begged for help to get the people with microcomputers to stop talking in his brain, made the diagnosis. I can only be grateful.

The same week this all happened, I met with a holiday house owner in Rendelsham and started as her house cleaner. She lives in Adelaide, and lets me know when she has holiday renters, and I set up and go clean afterwards. 

To say that I begun 2017 with my feet hitting the ground running would be an understatement!

In April at the start of Term 2, I lead my first Kindergym class. I loved it and was so pumped up and excited to do the second class, and no one turned up so I had to wait unitl the following week. I did the lesson plan for the next week that afternoon, I was so in the zone!

I am about to finish my first full term of  Kindergym, and am so proud that I jumped over that cliff of uncertainty and just went for it. I you told me a year ago, I would be working at the gymnastics club I would have told you where to get off. 

It has actually come at the right time, and fit in perfectly. Both the girls are at school now, leaving me with some spare time, a small wage,  and I get school holidays off! My fellow Kindergym coach has just announced she is leaving at the end of year, so eventually I will move into taking Kindergym two days per week, and possibly a Tiny Tots (five year olds) class or two a week. Who would have thought?!

I felt like a rock star earlier this week in Woolies, when coming across a couple of sisters that take my Kindergym classes. It is lovely that they stop to say hello and have a little chat. 

Without further or do, here is a little video with some highlights from the last six months.

Sometimes I surprise myself and blog on a Tuesday. Linking with Kylie.

Adventures at the Rocks

We spent some time at Carpenter Rocks and the surrounding beaches last week. 

Family from Adelaide and Melbourne were renting our holiday home, they had a fantastic week, and LOVED exploring and having fun in the area.

It was a pleasure to have them and look forward to seeing them again next year!

Sharing over at Stephs Joy

and Lovin' Life with Leanne

Important #fmy52weeksofmemories

I've been needing to get away from the house AND kids for some time for myself. It's has been obvious to me that I need to. It hasn't happened and is something I am going to have to organise, because I have been a total crabby McStabby and well because MENTAL HEALTH.

My quick getaway for the day is usually fishing. I think I'll be needing more than a day away though.

Over the weekend we all went fishing. Fishing with kids is far from calming, although I was happy to have all my kids along for the ride this day. We had heaps of bites, but didn't catch a thing. We tried at the drain and then at the jetty, where all I got was snagged, twice, and lost all my hooks and a sinker.

Even though we didn't catch anything, I was in my happy place. I spent a lot of time here when I was a kid. By the beach and fishing, the seaside really is one of my good for the soul places.

Everyone was happy and together, that is just a important to me as having some time out for myself.

Sunday drives

Autumn has well and truly hit. Cold nights and mild days are with us now. Gone are the days of thirty plus and the high twenty degree days. The past week and the forecast for the coming week are struggling to reach twenty!

Sunday a week ago, turned out a gorgeous day though, with the Geltwood festival markets in the main street of Millicent in the morning and a Sunday drive down to Pelican Point in the afternoon.

My niece and her husband, who have just returned from a couple of years overseas, joined us for the day. It was really good.

I fell in love with this immaculate HT Holden GTS (circa 1970) this is one car I would love to own!
My place in time #64 - a car I would love to own

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