I must admit though, when I do get some downtime, I turn to Facebook. Even though I feel like it's dumming me down, and I am not achieving anything, it's the timeout I need.
It means I am not having the motivation to get the important things done, well not until the last minute anyway.
The thing that is taking the most space in my head at the moment is my adult son, who has been in the mental health ward for nearly two weeks. Not only have I learned to spell his condition properly, but to deal with what has happened to lead him there. It is not made easier by someone close to me, not being supportive at all. It makes it fucking hard.
I am emotionally exhausted, which makes other parts of my life hard. I do apologize for my lack of presence around here lately. I am treading water at the moment, but managing to keep my head above water. I can see the end of the tunnel, I haven't given up yet.
It's not all bad. I am becoming a strong warrior. One day I will rock this shit called life. Right now it is like pushing shit up a hill.
My girls kept me well and truly entertained during the week with their funny antics. While I quickly showered one morning, they covered the toilet with glad wrap and drew a huge black spider on the toilet paper with a Sharpie. I didn't discover it until after school drop off. I was grateful for the happiness it brought me. They were doubly amused at the big deal I made of it when I saw them, they lit up like light bulbs. Little buggers.
It was just what I needed. Nature levels me.
