Monday, December 1, 2014

Are you right? Or are you left?

When I was a kid my dad asked this all the time. The only difference was the twist he put in the question. 

"Are you right. Or are you left?".

My answer was always the same. "I'm right".

In turn, out of habit, I ask Izzy the same thing. The same way. And I get the same answer.

It only occured to me after asking her, that saying "I'm right" all the time, may not be a good thing. Am I conditioning her to always say "I'm right"?

I have to wonder if it is a good thing. I tend to have a 'She'll be right' mentality.  I do believe I am a fabulous optimist, most of the time, with a can-do outlook. 


I am one of those people that, when asked how I am, have the same stock standard answer. "Good Thanks!". Even when I am not. I am the eternal smiler. That smile though, covers a lot of emotion.

There was a chaplain in the mill I used to work at. I'd see him coming, and I knew he was heading for me. Sometimes I just didn't want to talk to anyone. But he'd come up and say with a big beaming smile, "Hello Smiley". I am guessing he knew. He knew the smile was a front, that I was one of those people he needed to talk to the most. I was nice to have that short little chat though. God bless him.

I have to wonder if saying "I'm right", for so many years, has just become the norm and I don't speak up enough when I am not alright.

I don't like to think that my Dad had something to do with that, I am sure he didn't. Dad has been my rock, always. Sometimes all it takes to feel loved, is for someone to ask "Are you right?". Really ask. It doesn't really matter about the left bit. It always made me feel important.

I guess the most important bit, is that when I ask Izzy, I really listen to her answer. I'd like to think if she gave me the stock standard answer, and I was really listening, I would know if she was really left. 

So how are you? Are you right. Or are you left?

Do you have idioms you've gained from your parents and repeated them with your kids?


20 comments:

  1. Interesting post...I need to think about this a bit - but as a leftie, I don't know if I like the implications ;)

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    1. Our little Summer is showing definite signs of being a leftie. Takes after her auntie and her Pop John.

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  2. It's funny how we have stock standard responses and fall into that habit. The most common one is the one you mentioned - Q: "How are you?" A: "Good thanks". Yep - that's me. I guess it's because in reality most often that question is asked without really asking it and expecting an honest answer - so we give the stock standard. It's sad really. I'd love to see this change so that when the question is asked it is asked genuinely with preparedness for an honest answer. If I were asked if I'm left or right - and I were to answer with honesty - I'd say I'm in the middle - I'm ok! Nothing is ever perfect. There are always struggles and issues to work through but overall I am grateful for my lot and will keep pushing on ;-) x

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  3. Alicia, what a thought provoking post. I too have always been a smiler and I think you're right, we're the ones to watch because we're often overlooked. Then again, maybe he really was attracted to your smile!
    This is a lovely read. X

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  4. Yes, I always say I'm right. No one really wants to hear your ails and complaints.

    I'd ask mum when we were going to the shops and she'd say 'dreckly'.... Took me probably until I was 10 or 12 to work out she was saying 'directly'. I would say she picked this up from her parents.

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    1. That's what I think too, no one wants to hear it. I don't think it really is asked these days with the expectation of a bad answer.

      Oh, one person comes to mind who says that too. I haven't seen them for the longest time.

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  5. Interesting! I am always good or well when asked and am really bad at asking for help of any kind! I don't think it's such a bad thing in general but, like everything else, you do need to find a balance.

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    1. I am bad for admitting I need, and asking for help too. I have a bad habit of cracking it, when I should have just asked for help. I'm a dill.

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  6. It depends on who I am speaking to - some people don't really care and ask if you're alright and I give them the short answer but if it's someone I can reach out to I'll usually tell them if I'm right or not! I try to ask my kids a lot because I know I didn't open up to my parents as a kid!

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    1. I ask my kids all the time too. Have to keep the communication lines open.

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  7. If it is someone who doesn't give a rats I say good thanks but to anyone who does care (which are not many) I tell it like it is.
    In saying that there are not too many people who I give a rats how they are and I expect the answer good thanks if I ask them!!
    But I do care how you are so hows things my dear??

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  8. It's interesting how we get conditioned to give a certain response...I am like you in that majority of the times I'll say "good, thanks" as a response. It's weird how it also shuts down conversation. It'd be interesting to see how people would react if we were completely honest about how we were going... :P

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  9. There are so many times I say things and hear my mum coming out of my mouth. Its a little unsettling how often it happens.

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    1. I hear my mum coming out of my mouth all the time!

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  10. Very pretty happy faces! A lovely photo!

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  11. I have to say like you I mostly use the stock standard response although at my night job sometimes I am pretty honest ... 'tired', 'better if I wasn't here', etc. Mostly I am as you described yourself, smiley, and many don't know what is happening underneath but tiredness often opens me up to showing what I am really feeling. I say many things that make me think 'I sound like my mother' but I can't think of them right now. Come to think of it I use ones from my Grandfather too, probably all of the family really.

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  12. I'm confused. I'm not sure if you're writing about handedness or feelings. Either way, I hope that you are al good xS

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    1. Sorry Sarah, didn't mean to confuse you. I am talking about feelings and how we relay our true feelings to people, in my awky way.

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