Tuesday, December 6, 2016

Block of chocolate day, block of chocolate day.....

I can always tell when my time of the month is witching it's way around. I am always a little precious, and by nine oclock in the morning, I have usually sat on my bed and had a bit of a sook. 

One of the kids favourite shirts is in the wash, they've said 'Mum' sixty times already,  and they're unconsolable because they've dropped their breakfast on the floor. Give me a fucking break!

Combine this with shopping day and it's not hard to toss a block of dark chocolate into the trolley, just in case. 

Yesterday, that block of Cadbury Old Gold rum and raisin dark chocolate, didn't see the end of the day. Fair enough I gave Summer two squares, she actually liked it, but I ate the rest. I am sure it will put in good stead when I am bleeding like a stuck pig tomorrow. I hope.

If you ask me, every parenting room, and public ladies toilet should have one of those glass 'break in case of emergency' cabinets on the wall, with a glowing block of luscious brown goodness. Publicly funded of course, as part of a new Mental Health Act. With a box of top shelf tampons included. And maybe six million dollars. (Pushing it now).

Like the equivalent of the government Health Care card you qualify for in the birthing unit. 

"Congratulations on the birth of your new baby, here's 18 years supply of wine and chocolate, along with a lifetime membership to the loony assylum. Thank you for populating the nation".

It reminds me of a song my daughter sings, Two banana day. When asked where they heard it, I realise my kids watch way too much You Tube. They reply (like duh!), Big Block Sing Song.

I swap the words out for 'Block of Chocolate day' or 'bottle of wine day'. 

At least they seem to have moved past unveiling surprise eggs and Ollie (ugggghhhh. Don't go there). 

They've found Just Dance clips which is all sorts of gorgeous to watch (mental health restored).

My favourite quip in the mornings, if it's a bad one it's, "I'll be requiring wine tonight!".

I am astounded at my resilience at not buying said wine. By bed time I am scalding myself at the fact I did not buy wine. I really am not an alcoholic. Friday and Saturday may stand up in court to rebuke that.

I will deny everything. They are obviously childless and single.

And just like that, holy shitballs, I have a Tuesday blog post.
#IBOT  been a while!

Monday, December 5, 2016

It was the Summer of '89

I had just finished Year 12. My schooling days had come to an end and Mum wasn't letting me rest on my laurels. 
circa 1989 (dork)

She'd lined up a summer job for me in a nearby Southend, a seaside village, and I worked in one of the local delis, across the road from the caravan park. 

I wasn't totally sure about it, being a quite, shy person, a total introvert. It worked out OK.

It's probably everyone's dream job over the summer, and at the time, I probably didn't appreciate how cool it was. 

I remember selling loads of ice creams, and meat pies! It always seemed busy, with local fishermen and holiday makers dropping in.

I can't really remember what I was spending my earnings on. My guess it was probably spend on clothes, makeup, and at the music store in those days! 

My boss was a little old lady, Mrs Campbell. The shop was attached to the front of her house, and I remember sitting at her kitchen table for lunch, several times.

Funnily enough, the owner's of the other shop, at that time, the Crowe's, have been my neighbours in town for years!

Having no car at that stage, I lived in a caravan at my Gran's house. It was pretty awesome.

Gran lived next door to Kasey Chambers' Grandparents (totally unrelated to this story). Kasey was recently back in Southend (where she really grew up) for an interview with Julia Zamiro, for her Home Delivery show. There was much excitement around that Kasey was back in the region. Personally, I was more excited that Julia was!

I really enjoyed that summer. It was the first time I'd lived away from my family and all my brothers and sisters.

Occassionally Gran would take me back to town (Millicent). I made the mistake of sitting in the front passenger seat. This was her dog's seat on her travels. The dog was having none of it and sat on my lap, farting in protest for the entire twenty odd kilometres. Gran thought it was hilarious!

My summer job was over when all the tourists went home. I walked straight into another job, back in Millicent, and worked there until I was six months pregnant with Jake, at 19.

What was your first job? 
Did your Gran have a farting dog?
What were you doing the summer of '89?

Monday, November 28, 2016

Knock Knock

I am not a great joke teller. My tongue tends to trip over itself all the time, I don't have that flow of words, or I am just crap at remembering the lines. I used to start laughing before I finished the joke and had trouble finishing the punch line. It just didn't work.

I admire people, and a couple come to mind, that always have a joke to tell. It's their thing, and I don't know how they remember them all.

I hear a great joke, and ten seconds later, it's gone! Wiped from my memory forever!

We all sat in bed together the other morning, cracking each other up with 'Knock Knock' jokes.

I don't know where Isabel picked it up from, but her go to joke is The Interrupting Cow. She cracks herself up with it, and seems way too pleased after executing it. She actually tells it amazingly well. I am proud. It goes like this -

Knock Knock!

Who's there?

Interrupting Cow.



When I was younger I loved joke books. I remember borrowing just about every book on the shelf, and then annoying the heck out of my family. 

I distinctly remember sitting at the kitchen table, reading jokes from one of those joke books. My mum was pottering in the kitchen, and I must have been driving her bonkers with my jokes.

I am fine delivering them straight from a book, but from the top of my head. No.

I can still appreciate a good joke book, and yes, none of them every stay in my memory, except The Interrupting Cow.

Isabel is quite shy though and wouldn't tell her joke in company over the weekend. Brett and I told it and it wasn't the same. 

We stayed at Casa Pelicano (our holiday house in Pelican Point) over the weekend and had a few visitors drop in. Go away, and we have more visitors than we do at home!

On Saturday arvo, some of them joined us down the beach for some surf fishing. Brett got so excited about the HUGE fish he had on his line, which turned out to be a sting ray. Fair to say we let this one go, but the kids had a ball checking it out and watching it returning to the sea, eventually. 

I could add a sting ray joke in here, but the ones I googled mostly refer to Steve Irwin, and I'm not going there, so here's a lame arse fish joke instead -

What's the difference between a piano and a fish?
You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish.

What did the fish say when it swam into a wall?

Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker!

Why did the whale cross the road?
To get to the other tide.

I know, sorry that was more than one...aren't you glad you're not my mother?

Joining in with Denyse this week for #lifethisweek

Friday, November 25, 2016

When road tragedy strikes

Something tragic happened in our Limestone Coast community this week. Four young men lost their lives in a terrible and unfortunate road accident, just outside of Penola. 

They were on their way to work in the wee hours of Saturday morning, when the ute they were travelling in hit a tree and rolled. None of them survived.

It was sad and shocking. It rocked the entire forestry community, with a ripple effect to the rest of the Limestone Coast community, other parts of the country, and even further afield.

I was talking to a retired old forestry worker yesterday. This man is a real character who wears his heart on his sleeve. He's was a pine faller from way back and loved this industry. He was devastated at what had happened to these young blokes, commenting, 

"What really got me, is that it happened in an industry I love to bits......these were young men just starting out in the industry."

It affected me the same. My Dad worked falling pines in the forest and also in the saw mill, in the town where I grew up.

Every single day of my schooling life, I rode the bus on pine plantation lined roads, and even worked in a timber mill myself for a couple of years.

My husband Brett, drives trucks, loading from pine chippers in the local forests. He's on the roads going to work also, at the same time these young men had thier accident.


An amazing suggestion by a local company, Merritts Logging, out of respect for the boys, was for people to place a hard hat, or hi vis vests to be left at our front doors on Monday.

I was so proud to see the response unfold on social media. It was such a stark reminder of how precious life is, and the amazing supportive community we have. To see people from Queensland, and even Los Angeles paying tribute was also amazing.

Port Douglas

The day after the accident, the third Sunday in November, just happened to be World Road Traffic Victims commemoration day. Our town has a memorial in one of our local parks, and there was a gathering there on Sunday.

It is vital that we are all aware of the fatal five behavioural factors that lead to tragic vehicle accidents on our roads.
  1.  speeding
  2.  not wearing seatbelts
  3.  drink or drug driving
  4.  fatigue
  5.  inattention 
We are coming into one of the busiest times on the roads in the lead up to Christmas. The events of this week is a painful reminder to be patient and vigilant on the roads, and most of all, to never leave anthing unsaid and hug your loved ones tight.