Standing in the doorway

You know really, I am a half glass full kinda person. An optimist. 

I'm one of those 'she'll be right' people. 

All it takes is one pang of anxiety, to bring it all that positivity, crashing down around me in one big, loud clang. Everything seems hopeless. My life seems like one big catastrophe, my world is crumbling to bits and weighing down on me. Squashing the happiness from me. 

In that moment I hate it. I hate it. I hate that the smiling, friendly optimistic me has turned, and is now burning me from the inside. 

Today I went to Izzys school for a mothers day morning tea. It went pretty well. I drank coffee and resisted the gleaming array of cakes and biscuits.

One of the teachers fussed about how much me and Izzy looked alike. It was a lovely conversation. 

Afterwards I stood at the door of the classroom block and watched as the kids played outside. Just me there, no distractions and wasn't really paying attention to anything.

As I looked around I felt a warm peaceful wave flow over me. At that moment I felt like everything was going to be alright. My thoughts were the only thing I was listening to, and they were good thoughts. The noise of the playground was blocked out, just a hum, as I listened to me.

"Whatever's happened in the past, is over. It doesn't matter anymore. This is a new beginning, and everything is going to be OK. All that doesn't matter now".

It was a nice feeling, like the clouds had lifted on a beautiful day. To tell the truth it's like it wasn't even me I was hearing, rather than a whisper in my ear.

It would be silly of me to think there'll be no more bouts of crippling anxiety. But for today, I am thankful for that one glorious moment, standing in the doorway of Izzies classroom block.

I am a little bit excited too, because I gave her five bucks to spend at the mothers day stall today. Can't wait to see what she brings home for me :)

Sharing for Thankful Thursday with Rhianna

#100HappyDays Week2

Thursday - We were kicking the ball in the driveway. Izzy decided it was funny to be falling over onto the grass. We all laughed at each other.

Friday, Anzac Day. I enjoyed a cup of tea and some telly while Brett entertained the girls.

Saturday - My dinner. I've begun eating much healthier, I felt my whole self needed it. I am feeling much better.

Sunday - We got out in the sunshine, I don't think it's around for much longer.
We met some mothers group friends for a picnic at the playground.

Monday - Summer in all her cuteness and a short bob hairdo, after her first
haircut. I took a lolly snake in my purse, just as well, because the hairdresser
had run out of lollypops. I snuck it to Amelia so she could give it to Summer
after her haircut, she was excellent for her first one.

Tuesday - More sunshine. Out the back hanging out with Summer in the back yard.
I'm having a swing. It poured all morning and the night before. It was our first raining
drop off for kindy this year. I have since bought an umbrella for the car.

Wednesday - Yesterday Izzy wanted to play pass the parcel. She helped me
wrap up some of her small toys in newspaper. We had four parcels. She grabbed my
phone, put on some music and we played. I didn't win anything.

Being Thankful for happy times in my day with Rhianna

100 Happy Days, Week 1

On Wednesday of last week I started the 100 Happy Days challenge.

I'd been looking for a thankful/grateful project to do for a while, and felt I needed to do something to remind me that good things DO happen, everyday!

Wednesday: The kids went to play next door. They love the kids next door. I had time to get the washing off the line before it rained. I found myself quite happy to stand and watch the rain when it did fall. 

Thursday: When I saw it, I could hardly believe it. A graffiti free skate park, the council did an awesome clean up job.

Friday: This is Izzy dancing, pretending she is a munchkin from the Wizard of Oz. She is such a card, this cracked me up, I laughed so hard.

Saturday: As skeptical as I was when Brett started drilling a hole in my sink, I am happy with my rain water tap in the kitchen, filtered too. 

Sunday: Because, wine.

 

Monday: Brett took the girls out for the morning, I made stirfry for lunch and sat and watched tv the whole time.

Tuesday: I really did have a shit day Tuesday. A walk with the kids, getting some fresh air was just what I needed.

Wednesday: Yesterday I took friends to Keith to pick up their car which had broken down before Easter. It was a 500km round trip. Thankfully my SIL looked after the girls, which made it an easier trip than it could have been. It was nice to go on a road trip on my own. I stopped just before I got back to SILs house and took a photo of the amazing clouds.

Sharing my happy at A Parenting Life