Block of chocolate day, block of chocolate day.....

I can always tell when my time of the month is witching it's way around. I am always a little precious, and by nine oclock in the morning, I have usually sat on my bed and had a bit of a sook. 

One of the kids favourite shirts is in the wash, they've said 'Mum' sixty times already,  and they're unconsolable because they've dropped their breakfast on the floor. Give me a fucking break!

Combine this with shopping day and it's not hard to toss a block of dark chocolate into the trolley, just in case. 

Yesterday, that block of Cadbury Old Gold rum and raisin dark chocolate, didn't see the end of the day. Fair enough I gave Summer two squares, she actually liked it, but I ate the rest. I am sure it will put in good stead when I am bleeding like a stuck pig tomorrow. I hope.

If you ask me, every parenting room, and public ladies toilet should have one of those glass 'break in case of emergency' cabinets on the wall, with a glowing block of luscious brown goodness. Publicly funded of course, as part of a new Mental Health Act. With a box of top shelf tampons included. And maybe six million dollars. (Pushing it now).

Like the equivalent of the government Health Care card you qualify for in the birthing unit. 

"Congratulations on the birth of your new baby, here's 18 years supply of wine and chocolate, along with a lifetime membership to the loony assylum. Thank you for populating the nation".

It reminds me of a song my daughter sings, Two banana day. When asked where they heard it, I realise my kids watch way too much You Tube. They reply (like duh!), Big Block Sing Song.





I swap the words out for 'Block of Chocolate day' or 'bottle of wine day'. 

At least they seem to have moved past unveiling surprise eggs and Ollie (ugggghhhh. Don't go there). 


They've found Just Dance clips which is all sorts of gorgeous to watch (mental health restored).

My favourite quip in the mornings, if it's a bad one it's, "I'll be requiring wine tonight!".

I am astounded at my resilience at not buying said wine. By bed time I am scalding myself at the fact I did not buy wine. I really am not an alcoholic. Friday and Saturday may stand up in court to rebuke that.

I will deny everything. They are obviously childless and single.

And just like that, holy shitballs, I have a Tuesday blog post.
#IBOT  been a while!

You know the time when...

We all have moments in the day, that make us or break us. Some are feel good and leave lasting happy memories, and some, well just plain suck. Here are some amusing moments that have come about in the past months.

....You head down the hallway to bed with your arm stretched out in front of you like Superman, feeling like you just conquered the world. But really you just conquered too many wines.

The reason I look preggers

....You've been eating well all day, you've got through the after school whines and are just about to cook dinner, when you just realised you got your period. You just say fuck it, I am going to have ice cream and wine for tea! Of course you continue cooking spag bol for the fam and binge the rest of the night away.

....Sad sack binging comes to bite you on the arse, when your uncle asks if you have 'one on the way'. You have to admit that you're just fat. Major reality check. You still go to Maccas for lunch.

A friend posted this on my FB timeline after the birthday party. Obviously to console me at the face painters
lack of talent in the portrait department. 

....Your husband decides to get his face painted at a birthday party, just for fun. On the off chance, you ask the lady if she knows how to do Channing Tatum, because that will make you really happy.

....You just go to bed and you hear your phone notification chime go off. Twice. You spend the next ten minutes convincing yourself not to get up. You spend another ten minutes after that, reminding yourself, not to forget to write this down in a blog post.

....You're watching the telly, and all of a sudden you hear your five year old yell from the back door. "I'm just putting the dog out, because he is rooting a toy". That's when you know you're doing this parenting thing right.

.... Hubby is winning in the parenting stakes too. Yesterday Izzy walks in saying to her sister, "You can't bother Dad in the shed. He's doing something that can make you blind". He was welding of course. It just sounded much worse.

Kids. My source of amusement, and frustration, all rolled into one.

Share a moment with me in the comments. Surely I'm not the only one having them.

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