Monday, May 11, 2015

Mothers day fizzer

Every year I always go into mother's day with great expectations. It's no wonder I get disappointed. One day of the year. One day!

The truth is, it is a day, the same as every other. Besides the ten minutes after the kids wake, with the excitement of it actually being Sunday morning and they have presents to give, they are oblivious to it for the rest of the day.

I would have loved breakfast in bed, a sleep in, someone else to be responsible for cooking tea. These are great expectations.

I see so many social media statuses, saying things like 'I hope you get spoiled rotten on mothers day'. I just shrug it off, and wonder if this is just unrealistic, do mothers really get spoiled on mothers day? Am I just missing the point? 

Motherhood is hard and relentless. Relentless with a capital R, when you hardly get a break from them, especially out of the house. Should I just be grateful I have kids at all, or do I have the right to feel a little ripped off in the 'spoiled' department?

Brett stayed in Pelican Point overnight, he's been shifting and placing rainwater tanks at the holiday house. Really it wouldn't have mattered if he was here anyway. 

Last year I ate toast in bed, someone got back into bed and had a nice sleep in. I got up and cleaned up the aftermath of them cooking me breakfast. Mothers day over.



Yesterday morning I was woken by the kids. Izzy asked me after a few minutes when she should give me my presents. I told her now, if she wanted to. They were very excited. I gave Izzy five bucks to spend at the school mothers day stall. She chose a key ring and card. I also got a button tree she made at school to hold my jewellery. I may keep that tree forever. Summer gave me a $20 Coles Myer gift card. I was kinda miffed we don't have a Liquorland in town, because that baby would have been spent by now!




The morning was spent at the community garden and after we dropped into my mums place. I did get a kick out of seeing the girls giving their nana her present and their homemade heart cards.

By the time we got back well after lunch, Brett was home. Mind you the night before, he said he'd be back before I went to the gardens. He must have had a hard, late night because he didn't move off the lounge for the rest of the day. Nice.

The best part of the day was just before the kids bedtime, both the girls curled up with me on the lounge. Izzy had her head on my shoulder, and Summer snuggled in and threw her arms around my neck and said, "I love you mum!". I cuddled her hard. After a long day, constantly telling myself not to be upset about dumb expectations, it was just what I needed.  I did get spoiled, eventually.





26 comments:

  1. I've actually just written a post about this - Mother's Day is about what you do for your Mother (or to celebrate her memory). When your kids are older and have left home, it will be your turn. And then hopefully, there won't be disappointment. I am glad what you wanted in the end.
    PS, you're husband should show his appreciation of your efforts at childrearing through out the year, not on Mother's Day, when he should celebrate his mother's efforts...

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    1. your husband! Where is my head????

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    2. Usually we go visit Bretts mothers grave with a bunch of flowers. I only thought this morning that we didn't go do that. I am sure it would have crossed his mind too, most definitely would have.
      I wish he would pitch in more during the year, I guess it's why I hold out hopes for mums day. I have to drop some flowers by for old Daphne(Bretts mum) in the morning. I feel like such a heel.

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  2. Hi Alicia. Personally, I think Mothers Day and the like only work really well if you have lots of sisters who all pitch in for a big joyous family shindig.
    We had a similar day to you, but I didn't expect any different. My mum and MIL are both interstate and overseas, and my husband was working in the arvo/night. I got bacon and eggs, and the kitchen was cleaned after that. The highlight for me, like you, was the kids' presents from the mothers day stall. They get so excited about it.

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    1. When I dropped into mums most of the fam was there or turned up not long after I did. It was awesome, and I know mum would have been happy to have us there with her.
      I was looking forward to that mothers day stall present. It was all about her, having the money to go buy something special for me.

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  3. I feel your pain, expectations are a funny thing aren't they. I just wanted them to feel it for more than 3.25 minutes but that didn't happen and in fact I got tears at the end of the day from the eldest because she realised she had kinda ruined it with a tantrum early on in the day. Oh well there is always next year. Haha. Mel xx

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    1. Motherhood is a rollercoaster of ups and downs. I am sure, and I know with my mum, they will think I am a nutter. What I do know when they get much older, they will appreciate the hard yards I put in. It won't be til then, I will reap the rewards.

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  4. I spent Mother's Day in bed with a virus (still sick today). I had a beautiful Mother's Day despite it. My kids gave me their homemade cards and their $5 stall gifts. For me, the kick is to see the love and excitement on those little faces when they earnestly hand over those little gifts. It's my thank you moment right there. Later we had takeaway Indian. I hope you can find those tinsy wee pleasures and treasure them lovely. Kids grow so fast so you've got to grab every glimmer before it has slipped away forever. Maybe you can make it a Mother's Day week for yourself and squeeze out some more little things from everyone so that you feel more elevated. Maybe buy yourself a new something you've been wishing for? (I bought myself a new kitchen appliance.) xxx.

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    1. I hope you're feeling so much better.
      The excitement and love of giving those gifts is precious in itself. I did love seeing that.
      It did buy a hoodie and some shoes marked down to $5 with the voucher today. Brett was home early, so I could get down to Target country on my own!

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  5. Ah, I'm cynical about all 'days'. But I can understand the need to have a break especially when for the other 364 days, you are doing most of the work. Growing up, we never gave mum anything for Mother's day except maybe a handmade card. But we did let her have the day off cooking and went out to lunch.

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    1. 'Out to lunch' would have been awesome. I did love it at mums as most of my family was there. She did what she does best, and cooked drop scones for us all. Yummo! They're like honey coated donuts. Go love her.

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  6. I try to have low expectations and so am happy with anything on the day. Of my three children I have one who always goes to a lot of effort for me, making something unique and special. My sons both made me a card this year, which I felt lucky to get! It's all good! They know I love them and I know they love me!

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    1. Just have to hang on to those thoughts. Have to cling to those golden moments to get us through.

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  7. As your girls get older it will change. I know as a teen I was able to cook breakfast, lunch, dinner and my siblings and I worked together at trying to make it special. I know my sister had Mum over for lunch.
    My birthdays have been like this recently, minus the present giving so I know that disappointment you feel. They do appreciate you though and the older we get the more we appreciate out mothers. Your evening snuggles sound like a great mother's day present.

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    1. I wish I could bottle those moments. When they wrap their little arms around my neck and say 'I love you'. Just precious.

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  8. I was lucky this year that Dave wasn't working and I did get to have a sleep-in, which was so nice. And then we spent the rest of the day at my Mum's house, just hanging out and playing games. The girls were surprisingly well-behaved all day, we definitely got lucky! I'm glad you got to have cuddles with your girls at the end of the day. I try not to have big expectations around Mother's Day, if I get a bit of a sleep-in and don't have to change a nappy all day then that's a good day for me, lol!

    I must admit I'm looking forward to Father's Day this year. Poor Dave has had to work on every single Father's Day he's ever had, but this year he has the whole day off, so I am determined to make it a special day for him. He does so much for the girls and I and I definitely don't show my appreciation enough so this year we are going to make it extra special to make up for the last 3 missed Father's Days.

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    1. Dave is extremely lucky. I am sure it will be one he will remember for years to come x

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  9. My big girls couldn't get home for Mother's Day this year (sad face!). Kirby had netball in Adelaide and Bri was working (nursing). Bri is coming home next week though, for a whole week - Yay!
    I went for a coffee with a girlfriend then came home just before lunch. Nothing special for lunch then I cleaned out my fridge! OMG!!! I took out all the shelves and crisper drawers and OMG, something had spilled down the back of it! Looked like beetroot juice but was sticky and very hard to remove! Anyway, its sparkly warkly now and brand new but it took a bit of elbow grease! I chucked out a lot of jars of stuff - I wish jars were half the size so there woudn't be so much wastage. One jar of French mustard had an expiry of 2009! How embarrassing!
    Gus cooked dinner and his mum stayed for dinner too so that was nice. My girls did a nice pic collage on Instagram for me so I was pleased with that.



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    1. The jars in my fridge door seem to sit for so long! I actually tipped out a couple today and of course, washed and kept them. Enjoy your week with Bri x I did notice the last time she was down here nursing. I had a friend go to Adelaide nursing, for placement at the same time.

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  10. Yes I think we all have great expectations of "no parenting" for one day - unfortunately it never seems to play out that way :-(

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    1. To me, I do look forward to having that break from relentless parenting. It does not come.
      Not on that day anyway. I do know from experience though, having a young adult, I do miss those cuddles from my big boy. I am not sure whether it's a stage he is going through, but I haven't heard 'I love you mum' for a while now.

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  11. I have decided to expect very little so I get pleasantly (or not so pleasantly) surprised. I too look at all of those statuses on facebook and wonder how many mums are getting the Royal treatment.

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    1. I have to wonder if it is a myth. I guess it's all about treasuring the smaller moments, that make it wonderful.

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  12. Pretty and delicate flowers for mother! Delicious pictures !! Congratulations !!

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  13. What a story...glad you did eventually get spoiled :)
    I did look on FB too to see how everyone's perfect Mother's Day was going. Mine came, and went lol.

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  14. I always end up cleaning up after our lot but I suppose it's the home-made cards and love that is different. Still heaps of fighting here. x

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