I received a voucher from my sister in laws for my 40th last year. A hundred bucks to spend at the local beauty/nails/massage joint. I had been there before, to get my nails done for my wedding, and a couple of years later, a pedi with the works, which was AWESOME, a gift from my former boss. You can see I don't go there much. I'm booked in for a hot rock massage today, never had one. I am going to love it, I know I am. But I can't help but over think it.
My sister in law Marg is looking after the girls while I lay for an hour, in peace. No kids. No worries. I am still anxious though. What if I cry out of pure relief and release all of my emotion? Emotion that has been building up, I have felt it, in my shoulders. The pressures of everyday, of constant mothering.
What if I fall asleep? A snore, a spit dribble. Horror! I do too much thinking. I need not to worry, I need to just turn up, lay down and soak it up. Or is that suck it up. Suck it up sister, enjoy yourself, let yourself have some time on your own. Let other people look after your kids, take your time, don't rush back. Don't over think, don't feel like a nuisance for having some timeout. Enjoy, relax, breathe. It's gonna be OK.